Five Tips to De-stress Your Life
Copyright 2005 Kathy Paauw
I recently received this e-mail message about stress
management (author unknown)�
------------------------
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an
audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is
this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold
it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I
hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In
each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it,
the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress
management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
-------------------------
What burden can you put down to help you reduce stress?
Notice that I did not ask if you had stress. I assume you
do. The question is, what are you doing to manage or reduce
it?
I'll bet that you can identify something generating stress
in your life right now that you've been carrying for a
while ... something that was probably stressing you a month ago, or even a year ago. So what are you prepared to do about it? Here are five tips to help you reduce stress.
1. Identify what is burdening you right now. What do you
hate about your life? What are you tolerating? By stating
what you hate or are putting up with in your present circumstances, you can then identify what you want. As you answer this question, consider each of the categories mentioned below. Make a thorough list and be specific. This list is for your eyes only, so spill onto paper whatever you hate about your present circumstances, without trying to sugar-coat how you are feeling. Here are some examples:
* Relationships: I hate feeling like I always have to be
right. I hate how my son never wants to spend time with me.
* Health & Wellness: I hate being 20 pounds overweight. I
hate getting so out-of-breath when I take the stairs. I
hate that I am so stressed that I cannot fall asleep at
night.
* Financial Health: I hate how I always defer my tax
returns because I am so disorganized with my financial
records. I hate how many tax deductions I forfeit because
of my lousy record-keeping practices.
* Environment: I hate how my office is cluttered with piles
of paper. I hate that I waste so much time looking for
things. I hate how much money I waste because I have to buy something I have but cannot find. I hate that I cannot park my car in the garage because of all the junk stored in there.
* Work: I hate regularly working past 5 PM and on the
weekends.
2. Deal with unresolved issues. Is there something in your
past that you have not dealt with � psychological barriers, untreated disorders, unfinished business from your childhood, unresolved relationships, addictions, or depression? If so, seek professional assistance to clear a path for a new beginning. Without first dealing with these obstacles, you may sabotage your efforts or find major resistance to making the changes you desire.
3. De-clutter and create order. Creating order in your home
and work environment may help you to gain clarity as you explore the horizon of some new directions in other areas of your life. Here's my definition of clutter: Anything you own, possess, or do that does not enhance your life on a regular basis. It's hard to make room for something new amidst all the clutter ... whether that clutter exists in your physical environment, on your calendar, or in your head.
4. Move from complaints to solutions. Look at your list of things you hate (above), and design a vision around what you want and choose for the future. Create a chart that includes the complaints, solutions to achieve your vision, and projected dates of completion.
Tried everything and still cannot find a solution? Ask
someone else to help you brainstorm a solution, or make
peace with it and quit thinking of it as a problem.
Eliminate excuses that are undermining your vision. For example, if you feel like you have to work late, examine the excuses that are undermining your desire to leave the office by 5 PM. Are you staying late to catch up with e-mail or to meet deadlines? How can you eliminate the excuse? Build in time to handle those activities during regular work hours.
Commit time to take positive action. Carve out protected
time for working on an important project that would
otherwise not get done until the 11th hour (after hours or
on the weekend). For large projects, break them into
smaller "bite-sized" projects.
5. Get support as you change behaviors. In order to create
new behaviors which will get and keep you at the enhanced
level at which you wish to function, you may need support.
An accountability partner or personal coach can help you:
* Reflect back what you say you want so you can hear
yourself.
* Clarify what it will take to get you from where you are
to where you want to be.
* Build in accountability check-ins (without judgment)
around the actions you choose to take.
Identify the level of support you need in order to reach
the goals you've identified, and then ask for help.
Copyright 2005 Kathy Paauw
I recently received this e-mail message about stress
management (author unknown)�
------------------------
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an
audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is
this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold
it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I
hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In
each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it,
the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress
management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
-------------------------
What burden can you put down to help you reduce stress?
Notice that I did not ask if you had stress. I assume you
do. The question is, what are you doing to manage or reduce
it?
I'll bet that you can identify something generating stress
in your life right now that you've been carrying for a
while ... something that was probably stressing you a month ago, or even a year ago. So what are you prepared to do about it? Here are five tips to help you reduce stress.
1. Identify what is burdening you right now. What do you
hate about your life? What are you tolerating? By stating
what you hate or are putting up with in your present circumstances, you can then identify what you want. As you answer this question, consider each of the categories mentioned below. Make a thorough list and be specific. This list is for your eyes only, so spill onto paper whatever you hate about your present circumstances, without trying to sugar-coat how you are feeling. Here are some examples:
* Relationships: I hate feeling like I always have to be
right. I hate how my son never wants to spend time with me.
* Health & Wellness: I hate being 20 pounds overweight. I
hate getting so out-of-breath when I take the stairs. I
hate that I am so stressed that I cannot fall asleep at
night.
* Financial Health: I hate how I always defer my tax
returns because I am so disorganized with my financial
records. I hate how many tax deductions I forfeit because
of my lousy record-keeping practices.
* Environment: I hate how my office is cluttered with piles
of paper. I hate that I waste so much time looking for
things. I hate how much money I waste because I have to buy something I have but cannot find. I hate that I cannot park my car in the garage because of all the junk stored in there.
* Work: I hate regularly working past 5 PM and on the
weekends.
2. Deal with unresolved issues. Is there something in your
past that you have not dealt with � psychological barriers, untreated disorders, unfinished business from your childhood, unresolved relationships, addictions, or depression? If so, seek professional assistance to clear a path for a new beginning. Without first dealing with these obstacles, you may sabotage your efforts or find major resistance to making the changes you desire.
3. De-clutter and create order. Creating order in your home
and work environment may help you to gain clarity as you explore the horizon of some new directions in other areas of your life. Here's my definition of clutter: Anything you own, possess, or do that does not enhance your life on a regular basis. It's hard to make room for something new amidst all the clutter ... whether that clutter exists in your physical environment, on your calendar, or in your head.
4. Move from complaints to solutions. Look at your list of things you hate (above), and design a vision around what you want and choose for the future. Create a chart that includes the complaints, solutions to achieve your vision, and projected dates of completion.
Tried everything and still cannot find a solution? Ask
someone else to help you brainstorm a solution, or make
peace with it and quit thinking of it as a problem.
Eliminate excuses that are undermining your vision. For example, if you feel like you have to work late, examine the excuses that are undermining your desire to leave the office by 5 PM. Are you staying late to catch up with e-mail or to meet deadlines? How can you eliminate the excuse? Build in time to handle those activities during regular work hours.
Commit time to take positive action. Carve out protected
time for working on an important project that would
otherwise not get done until the 11th hour (after hours or
on the weekend). For large projects, break them into
smaller "bite-sized" projects.
5. Get support as you change behaviors. In order to create
new behaviors which will get and keep you at the enhanced
level at which you wish to function, you may need support.
An accountability partner or personal coach can help you:
* Reflect back what you say you want so you can hear
yourself.
* Clarify what it will take to get you from where you are
to where you want to be.
* Build in accountability check-ins (without judgment)
around the actions you choose to take.
Identify the level of support you need in order to reach
the goals you've identified, and then ask for help.
